I, Virgin, Do Thee Wed

Well...the wedding I didn't want to attend happened last week, thus my lack of weekly wanking about virginity, and now I probably have enough for a book. Heh heh. But I'll try to make a long story short because I don't even want to write it all, let alone read it.

So it begins with my mother calling to tell me that L broke up with her boyfriend. Forgive me if I'm repeating myself...I said, "so...?" I knew exactly where she was going but I wanted to hear her say it. She says, "So that means she won't have a date for the wedding." "And that affects me how?" "I'm just saying..." "Mmmhmm."

Oh mom. I know she only wants me to feel better, but having another single girl there really doesn't change my situation or how I feel about it. Anyway, come to find out 5 minutes after arriving that her sister A just broke up with her boyfriend and was there alone- L was already on to her next boyfriend who stood within 2 feet of her all evening. Zing!

The wedding itself was fine, pretty traditional (aside from the non-church ceremony both parents were furious about) but nice to catch up with some childhood friends I haven't seen in a while. Only once the entire evening was I asked the question I hate:

Auntie M: So where is your escort?
Auntie M's Daughter, sitting beside her boyfriend: MOM!
QV: Eh, there was no one suitable enough...
Auntie M: See? No one suitable enough.

And then she moved on to wherever she was headed. I was surprised not more of my parents' friends asked, but I think because my parents are no longer up here that they were more interested in talking to them than to me for once.

Both A and L are strikingly pretty, at least I think so. I mean, no one can deny they are pretty but every time I see them, usually after a few years have passed, I am reminded just how beautiful they are. Like me, their father is not American which attributes to their exotic features. Anyway, the point of this is a ridiculous one but I'm going to make it anyway because like every woman I have days of low esteem and this made me feel better.

After the wedding my mother and I talked about how everyone looked, and I said how pretty those two in particular looked. She said, as every mother is required to say:

Mom: You were prettier.
QV: Thanks mom, I relieve you of your duty now.
Mom: Everyone else said so too.
QV: Oh? And just who is this everyone you speak of?
Mom: Four people told me! Auntie M, Auntie E, Auntie J and...Uncle D. (All my parents friends are aunties and uncles.) I didn't hear any of them tell Auntie N (A and L's mom) that.
QV: You are too much. What, did you attach yourself to Auntie N's ass all night listening?
Mom: I'm not lying.

As utterly juvenile as it is, there's something to be said for hearing about how pretty you are when you've been standing next to two of the prettiest girls you know all night.

Ok last story. In the car home I also learned some things that were none of my business, but the groom's mother has no filter on what should and should not be shared so I found out. She told my mother pretty much every last detail about her son's personal life along with all the wedding details, which my mom went on to share with me. I doubt my mother would have said anything if I hadn't started the conversation, but whatever. It really was innocently started. Before the wedding I remembered her telling me that they lived together. When I talked to the groom at the wedding I caught up on the details. It was one of those things where telling me something fit whatever point she was trying make even though it wasn't true, and when I called her on it later she would deny ever saying it.

QV: You know, they don't live together.
Mom: I know. He's there now and she's moving in after.
Then it transitioned but for the life of me I can't remember how.
Mom: Auntie D told me everything. About the wedding, about the bride's father...they're waiting until they're married.
QV: (utter disbelief) What.
Mom: That's what they told her. They're waiting until they're married.
QV: No way. That's bull.
Mom: That's what she said they told her.
QV: I don't believe it.

But I kinda do. I can't imagine why they would wait, they've been together for like six years, but there is something that rings true about it. He would have no cause to tell his mother anything, let alone that he was waiting because he told her to mind her business when she tried to involve herself in the wedding plans. I spent a lot of time growing up in that house and communication about things like that was so not part of the scene. I can't imagine he was trying to make her happy by telling her that. I also just can't imagine them having this or any other conversation like it to begin with so what do I know. Maybe he really is just a good little Catholic boy (who for some reason didn't want a Catholic ceremony...).

I almost said, well I'm not waiting! at the end of that exchange but A) none of my parents' business and B) I think my dad might have had a heart attack. Not because I'm planning on having sex before marriage, but because I'm so adamant about it. Though knowing my dad, he may believe I've already slept with someone. I mean, I always picture him as the naive father who believes his daughter is a princess, but he's the one who surprised me by thinking I had started drinking before I actually had. So why should this be any different? Course, God doesn't have anything to say about drinking whereas sex is a different story. And I'm sure he's also thinking, she's almost 30. She's had to have it by now.

Uh.

Anyway, my point with this whole damn post is that for once I was not the only virgin in the room. Yay me!

Course, 12 hours later the title would again be mine. Perhaps 24 if they were tired from dancing and drinking all night.