My parents raised me Catholic. Or rather, my father did as my mother never attended services. Every Sunday up through college I went to either church or CCD, which I cannot for the life of me remember what it stands for other than Sunday school. When I got a little older they moved CCD to a weekday evening, probably just to inconvenience the parents who had to chauffer their kids everywhere. There are exactly three things I remember about my nine years of actual lessons, where I allegedly learned about God.
1. An African American teacher I had who had a voice like Maya Angelou, fluid and passionate and full of warmth. What she taught though, I haven't a clue.
2. After our hour was up when I was really young they would lead us to the cafeteria where we would meet up with our parents and eat cookies.
3. An awkward bow legged teacher whose toes pointed inward when he walked. Out of all the classes I attended, there is one specific class of his that I will never forget. He said, "Ok we're going to play a game, everyone stand up. If you believe premarital sex is ok go to that side of the room. If you don't then stay over here."
Being all of about ten years old, I wasn't exactly sure what premarital sex was. I'd never heard the word premarital. I slowly inched my way over to the ok side since that's where most of the kids were headed, and sidled up to someone I knew. I asked in a whisper what premarital meant and she shrugged. When all was said and done, three quarters of the class of ten year olds apparently thought the sins of the flesh before marriage was just fine.
When he finally said, probably a little shocked, "You all believe it's ok to have sex before you are married?" I was relieved that I had picked the side I really did believe in. I obviously didn't know that much about sex, but it never occurred to me that it was wrong. Perhaps I missed all those sermons. I'm sure we received a stern lecture thereafter about how it was absolutely evil and sinful but like all things forgettable I forget.
What I do remember is that religion was never part of sex for me. I'm not saving myself for anyone. I've just gotten so good at being uncomfortable around men it's easier to avoid getting into a potential sexual situation. I guess I need someone who's willing to keep trying. I know, who has that kind of energy? All I can do is hope someone does. Won't the reward be all the sweeter? For us both?
1 comment:
I think it's a good thing you are holding off on sex. It is much better to have sex when you are fully ready and comfortable with yourself and with your partner.
I’m not a virgin... and I don't necessarily think I could have waited any longer than I did... but one thing that did suck as I became sexually active was the guilt that I felt for a long time- because I had always gone to church and I had a religious family and friends.
Religion shouldn't be the only reason why people wait. It should be for something else too. After all a person can wait until they are married but still be very uncomfortable with themselves and be very awkward in front of their partner. I think it's better to wait as a personal choice.
I think a guy will try hard to pop that cherry if he really likes you and it will probably be a hell of a lot better than if you just rushed to have sex. So who cares if you’re waiting?
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