A New Year Of Old Assumptions

A lot of people think I'm a lesbian...sooner or later. I can only guess why, maybe the way I dress or the music I listen to, but I think it more or less ends up being the fact that I never talk about men. Or more precisely, about men I date/see/sleep with. The only time this bothers me is when I get all feminist and think why does the absence of men have to determine my sexuality? Why isn't my sexuality determined by the fact that I don't talk about women?

I was working with someone yesterday I only see occasionally, and I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a lesbian. Either that or he's just one of those guys that says things without thinking them through and then realizes too late...oh yeah, that would be all of them. Anyway, so I told him that I was excited because I may have the chance to meet this actress I like, who happens to have a large lesbian following. First he asked if she was a lesbian. I said I didn't know and then he made a comment about maybe my company was sending me to meet her to set us up. It was such a weird, off-handed thing to say and I was completely taken off guard. So as per usual I just didn't say anything. Heh. Not that I should have anyway being as a) none of his business and b) um...it's a place of business and we're at work...

At the beginning of every year I think to myself, ok this is the year you're going to stop being an ass and you're going to meet someone. This year is no different. I forced myself to attend a New Years party where I'd only know a few people, so that I could meet new people...and possibly scan for guys I might like. I was proud of myself for talking to strangers (for longer than a 2 second hello) but didn't meet anyone I took a liking to, except of course the one tall guy with dark hair and a accent (see #36) who was married. Damn.

I'm just not quite sure to do with myself anymore. Actually, I probably never was.