What Part Of Sleep With Don't I Get?

For all the people I've not slept with there are people I've slept next to, a fact that in practice probably adds to my overall anxiety. Learning about the things you do in your sleep from someone else is discomforting. This probably reveals more than I'd like it to about my control issues. I can't control what I do in my sleep and it freaks me out. I've been told that I laugh and also that I grind my teeth. Nothing that embarrassing there. I know from waking up with a wet face that I also cry in my sleep. Also not bad. But what about the big Os I think I occasionally experience while sleeping? The fear of that happening while asleep next to someone is enough to keep me awake all night just to avoid it.

But then there's also just having someone next to me period that throws me off. I've been sleeping alone now for so long, it's strange to have someone else in the room let alone in the bed. If there is such a thing as psychic energy I'm pretty sure that just because their brain works my sleep is disturbed by whoever is next to me. (Though in all likelihood I wouldn't be able to sleep next to a dead person either. But I digress.) No matter how tired I am, how good a friend it is, how many times I've slept next to them or what is on my mind, it always takes me forever to fall asleep with someone else around. In any case, they always fall asleep first.

As long as they aren't snoring, the steady soft breathing of a sleeping person does hold a kind of comfort. That is, once I get past being annoyed that I'm not asleep yet and have to listen to them happily sleep breathing.

I would like to believe that it's something that will go away once I've begun sleeping with someone on a regular basis (the virgin said without a hint of irony.) Of course, I've got to take into account my light sleeper status and obvious habit of over analyzing my every interaction with the world and its with me.

Who else would analyze the actual sleep part of sleeping with someone? You can count on me.