There is a guy I occasionally work with who has suddenly come into view. He's one of those behind the scenes people who makes my job easier when they're on the ball, and harder when they get swamped and can't get to everything. The woman who used to work with him quit, so he has in effect taken over my 'account' if you will. I don't believe we've ever had a formal introduction, but I see him more often now and we know each other.
Anyway, the point is, I can't even tell you how long I've known him but in the last week or so I've suddenly found myself thinking about him. A lot. I don't know anything about him, except what comes at first glance.
1) he seems pretty mellow and soft-spoken (probably what made me take notice)
2) he's really cute
3) he's younger than me (early twenties?)
4) he's smaller than me (at least, I think. I'm usually sitting down when he comes by. At any rate, I usually go for the really tall, lanky guys. He's around my height or shorter but still lanky.)
5) um...I'm having quite a few lustful thoughts about what I'd like to do to him (though I probably wouldn't know how to carry any of it out.)
#5 is something new. In the past it's always been more of an academic kind of thing, where I had to almost concentrate on it. With him I'm just suddenly imagining it with no prompting. Is this what it's like to be a 16 year old boy? No wonder they can't concentrate on anything. They're imagining everyone naked all the time.
#3 and the fact that I work with him are what put up a huge wall. However, if he decided he liked me and asked me out, I wouldn't say no. However duex, I probably won't make any moves to give off any signals that I'm interested. This makes me an incredibly large hypocrite as I believe women should just ask out guys they're interested in instead of waiting for them to ask. I never said I was perfect. Though in my defense, I did make it a point to thank him yesterday for helping me out with what was a long, frustrating day. He smiled pretty big. Have I mentioned how cute he is?
But then of course, the left brain has to step in and say, maybe you're just thinking all this because it's been a while since you've found a guy attractive at all. Maybe you're not really attracted to him but you think you are because you think he's cute. Besides, your hormones are off, you cried last night at Running with Scissors for crappsake.
Why does left brain have to be so mean?
5 comments:
Funny how when you finally like a guy, its one you cant have (or should be careful with -- younger, and you work with him). Still that being said and knowing how rare it is for you to like someone, you should probably be flirty and nice and take every opportunity to talk to him you can. Give him every opportunity to ask you out. By the way, the thoughts you are ahving about this fellow are normal. It means you like him. Dont fight it too much. Good luck.
My God...sometimes, I feel like our lives run parallel.
I experienced the same thing -- well, sort of. It's the guy I refer to as "Jim" in my journal.
Met him at work -- and therefore, an "Untouchable"...more for the reason that he was the guy I was reporting to.
And like you, I suddenly found myself thinking a lot about a guy I wasn't normally attracted to. I also prefer the tall, lanky sort -- and Jim? Roughly the same height as me. Not so lanky. But he was also mellow and soft-spoken and cute.
(Why am I writing this in the past tense? He's not dead or anything.)
Anyways, I had to laugh at the end, though, 'cause I did the exact same thing as you. I actually remember sitting in a car with my best friend and telling her, "Do I like him just because I see him around all the time and there's nobody else around that I'm normally be interested in? Why do I like him? Are my feeling for him even real?"
I'm not even going to attempt to give you any advice...'cause, as you can tell from my journal, the ending to this whole story is yet to be written.
Nothing wrong with the age. A female friend of mine told me that the cutoff was (x+13)/2, where x is the older persons age.
According to the math, you're free and clear.
And, yes, my friend and I are a bit dorky.
As a male over the age of 16, I can remember that age. A picture of a crescent wrench turns on most 16-year old boys.
Maybe it's my lack of sexual history...but it still occasionally blindsides me. More so now that I'm in my thirties than when I was in my twenties.
I was going to write some advice...but I read it and it was terrible. Thank goodness for delete keys.
I do wish you luck though.
jgo- thanks! if i knew how to flirt, i might consider it. :) but i'm pretty terrible at it so i'd venture to guess he wouldn't even know i was flirting!
ecrivain - we can be the blind leading the blind. eventually we'll find something...right? :)
stm- i think in the end the work factor is more of an issue. i'm always curious as to what people would advise, especially guys! thank you though-
I'm not a typical guy I think. So my advise may lead you down the wrong path.
Well...if the work issue goes away...and you have enough friends to pull this off...but you want to avoid being too open...
Simple thing is to have a group of 5-6; one of them invites him to go. Easy-going plans: Bar/band playing or something like that. Essentially your friends conspire to leave the two of you alone for 15-20 minutes and see if anything is there.
I've never tried this, but in theory you have plausible deniability if things go awry...yet you still have the opportunity to feel the situation out.
And, yes, it's a cowardly approach.
Oh, by the way, if all your friends get up at the same time...it's a total giveaway. Make sure they understand the meaning of "subtle."
As I said...sketchy advise...but there it is.
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