Well I did it. I joined an online dating site. It was kind of an experiment more than anything else, because I knew the chances of me actually meeting someone in person were very, very slim. Perhaps thinking that right off the bat hindered any potential whatsoever and thereby made the point of joining an online dating site moot, but bear with me. I am not sure what I expected to get out of it (except maybe an ego boost. Is that a sign of pure conceit or what?) but I am not surprised by the result. Bored.
Perhaps yet another sign of conceit? Wow.
I write in the past tense because I have since removed my picture from my profile. If I could figure out how to remove it all together I would, but I probably won't ever log in again so hopefully after a while they'll just remove it for me.
Anyway, so I signed up and filled out some of the profile. After about a week I posted a picture. Within ten minutes 2 guys sent me messages. I responded to one of them and thanked him for the compliment. He didn't respond and lived 5 states away so I think he may have really just wanted to tell me I have a great smile. Or at least that's what I'd like to believe. Over the next few days I filled out a little more of the profile and got 2 more messages. I didn't respond to any of them.
A week or so later I signed in to check on things and on the home page there was a guy's profile who I thought was really cute. I was so happy! After perusing lots and lots of pictures I actually found one I thought was cute! I read his profile. We had so much in common I couldn't believe it. In theory we'd be perfect. Then I saw where he was from. 5 states away. Why always 5 states away? I sent him a message.
I sent HIM a message.
In my usual ass-backward way I told him he was adorable and that he had great taste in music and was pretty much a perfect match, but that I was a big, fat coward that wouldn't do anything beyond sending him that message.
Who does that?
He graciously messaged me back saying I seemed cool too and that it was a shame he didn't live closer to NYC.
For a few weeks after that I didn't receive or send any messages. The site is not one of the big ones and is not well known so that's what I'll chalk up to not getting any more hits. Hey, we all have to justify things in our own heads right? At any rate I became bored and removed my picture.
So what does all this say about me? Here's what I choose to believe.
I have more of an ego than I thought, which translates to having a healthy one.
I get bored easily, though I kind of knew that before I started.
There are guys out there I find cute! Well, at least one. That's one more than before I started! Yay!
6 comments:
It is difficult isn't it? It always seems that my "perfect matches" always live hundreds of miles away. Still, one musn't give up... There is no consolation prize for giving up, afterall.
Im gonna be kind of an ass but also be blunt. Personally, I think you are just making excuses for the fact that youre scared of meeting someone of just dont want to. You didnt give online dating even a remote chance with this attempt. You signed up for a non major site and you barely contacted anyone. So many new yorkers are online dating. If you signed up for a major one like match.com and actually tried instead of writing it off in your head before you ever started then you might actually meet some people.
fred- my cynicsm also leads me to believe everyone is better on paper. :) which is why the online thing will probably never work for me.
jgo- you're probably right. about the being scared thing. the signing up for the site though was more about me finding out if there was actually anyone online i wanted to contact and also if (read how many) guys would contact me. not really actually dating cuz i knew before i started that was an unlikelyhood. i know, totally lame experiment. but i didn't walk away any worse for it which is always a plus.
Again, I still think you should try one of the major sites. You cant judge numbers of people who contact you on a non major site. You also cant judge quality on a non normal site. Was the site a free site? I think the quality of people on the free sites is way lower than the paying sites. I am on a bunch of dating sites... one of which is OKCupid which is free and not used by many. I have only ever met one person from that site as compared to the countless from the major sites. I have no experience with this site, but I think you sound like a good candidate for eharmony. I think the other major ones like match tend to be a bit more hookupish which I know is not the crowd you are looking for. I hope you do it!
woa woa woa!
Eharmony sucks!
Its a crap load - you fill out some big ass 'personality test' then sit and wait for matches. some of the matches are totally off base- especially since you fill out an extensive personality test. i even had a friend on it and she was set up with guys with kids when she filled out she didnt want that. its expensive and a waste of time - it doesnt give back enough to make it worth it.
Oh and the whole values and Christian thing is totally off - it doesnt screen the perverts who are there to prey on wholesome gals.
american singles is ok.
but with any site that you pay for - there are bait profiles - so you have to actively search on your own and definately not believe everything you get
have no experience with this site, but I think you sound like a good candidate for eharmony.
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