Speaking Of...

...random, anonymous, blind kind of set ups...

My friend's husband's mother's best friend's son

While attending my friend's housewarming party I drank cider and chatted with a few people I knew for a while. Suddenly my friend's husband came over and practically shouted, "Have you guys met the W's?"

Before I could even finish my, "Um..no?" he grabbed my hand and was leading me across the room. "Oh...ok, I guess I'm the only one then?" I said to no one in particular since it went unheard.

"This is J and M you met them at the wedding. This is L and his wife A. My Aunt K and this is her son A. I've known A all my life!" The doorbell conveniently rang and he shot me a look I only realized later was a look of apology. "I have to go get that!"

I found myself standing among a small group of people who were smiling broadly at me, again I only realized later why so I never had time to make myself feel awkward. A and I talked for a few minutes and when the conversation lulled I excused myself to get another glass of cider. (Hard cider mind you. Oh yeah, livin' large.)

I had actually noticed A when he arrived at the party but not because I thought he was cute. (Though he was but that's besides the point.) I noticed him due to his, let's say selection of attire. Based on stereotypical assumptions, I admit, I guessed that he was gay. After speaking with him I wasn't convinced either way but I wasn't attracted to him (which actually leads me to believe he's straight. Oh the irony.) He was sweet but well...I wanted more cider. At that exact moment I still hadn't actually realized it was a set up, and afterwards felt bad that I left him high and dry.

After the party my friend and her husband admitted it was a set up, not by them but by his aunt. He said she threatened his life half way through the party because he hadn't brought me over yet. My friend said she didn't tell me before hand because she knew I'd freak out. I LOVE that she knows me well enough to know that. I said, "thank God you didn't tell me because I would have freaked out. The only way I'm ever going to meet someone is like this. A set up I don't know about!"

She kept apologizing but I actually appreciated it. It gave me a chance to experience something I otherwise would have denied myself if I had known about it. I had no chance to form false preconceptions or to think the potential of a relationship to death before even meeting the guy.

It's nice to not have time to think.

My friend's sister's boyfriend's brother

At this same party during which I was set up, I chatted with another guy who I had actually met briefly once before. Now him I had heard stories about and knew a little bit about his character. Preconceptions were made but oddly enough, I didn't try to avoid him. Number one, it would have been hard because the party wasn't that big, but what's really strange is that I was uncomfortable at times. I stuck around anyway and participated in a conversation with him. I mean, a lot of times I will tune out if the other person starts to talk a lot about themselves or I'll give kinda short answers to questions if I feel awkward (which I do realize is mostly in my head.)

Anyway, I had the feeling he kind of liked me and though I didn't really like him I chatted away. Maybe it was the cider, I dunno, but I was actually giving him a chance by learning about him and letting him learn about me too. I realize this sounds absolutely ridiculous and extremely juvenile bordering on trite, but this is the queen we're talking about! I'm pretty much equal to a teenager feeling my way blindly through this whole relating to boys on that level thing.

He showed his true colors when while entertaining a few little girls at the party he mentioned something about teaching his 7 year old niece how to stuff dollar bills down her shirt because it was a skill she'd need later in life. Said in jest of course but just as distasteful. It didn't make me hate him or even particularly change how I felt about him. I just realized that he had been on his best behavior for me and what I had heard from a few others (that he had no respect for women) was true.

After the party I found out he thought I was "hot"...which basically means he was picturing me naked while we talked.

All in all it was an enjoyable evening, and even finding out there was a whole plot I was unknowingly involved in made it all the more entertaining. The fact I rarely meet men and this night I had a choice of two, (for humor's sake) a gay guy and a misogynist, has not gone unnoticed.

How shall I think this one to death? :)