My cousin left me a message saying she had the most depressing news. The minute I heard it, I knew what it was about. When I called her back, she told me our younger cousin is getting married. He's 25. I can't even say he's too young, though in his case it may be true. My cousin and I used to argue growing up over who would get married first. Clearly it was going to be her, that bet I knew I could stake my life on. For some reason she always thought it would be me. At this point I'd even venture to say our youngest cousin will be the next to marry. She's 20.
My grandfather will be thrilled. My oldest brother is the only one of his grandchildren to have gotten married in his lifetime. He's 88. One out of six. When I say thrilled I mean he'll get to say all the nice things he's wanted to say to me in light of the event. My cousin will get some too, but not like me. She's younger and has had an endless string of meathead boyfriends.
Let's see if he can outdo my guesstimates:
Your younger cousin is getting married, when will you?
It'd be so nice to see a man sitting next to you there.
When are you going to get a husband?
I'd like to see you get married before I die.
You're getting old, don't you want to get married?
What are you, a lesbian?
Despite what you may think, no comment of his is ever well intentioned. The only way he knows how to relate to people is to insult them. Knowing that I suppose it's something I could hang on to, but I won't. I've seen what doing that can do.
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