Sunday, September 22, 2013

Things

I have a new friend at work. She started around February and for whatever reason I trusted her enough to tell her about my life. I'm not sure how high the wall is that I have up but she's the first person in a long time I've bothered to open up to at all. She does not know I still hold the V-card but for some reason there's a part of me that wants to tell her. I know she won't believe me at first but after I explain why she'll get it. I dunno. I probably won't. Maybe it's just nice to have someone new to talk to about life stuff- she's reciprocated with things about her life, most recently being sex. Yay. My favorite subject.

She has this guy she calls her booty call. It is not something she does often (and in actuality has only done a couple times) but she admitted to being a little lonely lately and wanted sex. So she went ahead and did it. I have to admire that. All in all though she's having the same problem I am: finding a guy she connects with. The difference is she goes out on dates, has had boyfriends and also sex. Feels like worlds apart with the same outcome. I could do the whole physical appearance/personality comparison but it's a waste of time. We are all well aware none of it matters in that way.

I haven't been able to move yet because the sale of my apartment fell through. My buyer strung me along for the prime summer months when people are looking and then couldn't come up with the finances. I'm so irritated because I was told different things by her lawyer and her realtor but always that she had the money and she was so close to getting the mortgage. In the mean time I look like an ass for giving her extension after extension. I finally just killed it. Square one.

Now for some reason my heart is impatiently screaming at me that I'm going to meet someone where I'm going and I just prolonged the process. My head knows I am absolutely setting myself up for disappointment but I can't help but hold on to that little bit of optimism.

School started and I am LOVING it. It feels really great to have the gears grinding again, my brain forced to focus on cognitive readings longer than a 100 word news blurb.  But still I haven't met anyone. I forced myself to attend a bunch of orientations and meet and greets and in the end always found myself in conversation with a group of females. I can't win. 

1 comment:

alifelivedalone said...

It's always nice to make a new friend, someone to go places with and talk to :) Sorry about your flat, it sucks when that happens-but good luck selling it now :))
Life always looks a bit brighter when you're doing something you love, so keep having fun at school! Maybe join a sport group there?
Vanessa