Thursday, April 25, 2013

A Literal Fevered Dream

I dreamed I had a fever. There were others who had fevers too, but after awhile theirs started to break. Mine only got worse. There were hospital type beds on the crowded street. It did not seem strange to be lying in one of them. People were either indifferent to me or as in the case of the woman tending to me did not believe me. But my skin was hot and I was exhausted. I kept trying to open my eyes but didn't have the strength to keep them open. I could tell by her body language that she thought I was faking.

My mind was going a mile a minute and I just couldn't take her judging me so I tried to get up to walk home. My legs kept giving out as I balanced along a brick wall, eyes half open and bent at the waist. Eventually I just laid down in the street, not far from the beds. She came over and poured ice all over me, thinking it would make me jump up. I couldn't feel it and only sunk under another wave of exhaustion.

I looked up fever on a bunch of different dream dictionary sites and they all said something different. The only one that seemed to apply was this one from here:

To dream that you are stricken with this malady, signifies that you are worrying over trifling affairs while the best of life is slipping past you, and you should pull yourself into shape and engage in profitable work.


I wouldn't say what I'm worrying about is trifling, but it is certainly distracting me from enjoying my life. I know I've said it a thousand times but I just can't get over being tired. All the time. I suppose maybe it's a symptom of a low grade depression, as my sleep has been on a better cycle as of late, or maybe it's just the result of a relentless inner voice that constantly reminds me of the things I have to do, the things I haven't done and the things I might never get to do.

Far be it from me to focus on what I have done, what I have enjoyed and what I have at present. I wonder yet again if I should go back on medication. I hate even the thought.

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