I think I may actually be on the road to um...the bin. I want so badly to get a handle on this whole paranoid half-conscious dreaming thing I do, so the past couple times it has happened I have tried to force myself into some kind of rationality. What I've come up with is this: still feels like people are able to read my mind, and also this other thing that I haven't mentioned before. There are these strange, non-tangible things/ideas that I am supposed to do/expected to do for work but feel really awkward doing. I can't even put my finger on what it is but it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. A weird shameful feeling lingers...maybe more due to having my mind read than what weird things I'm supposed to be doing. I don't know. But...I have figured out that this paranoid dream nonsense only happens when I lay on my right side facing the right hand corner of the ceiling of my bedroom. It's where I originally starting seeing the listening device in the air when I was apparently dream hallucinating. Thank God that has stopped.
I seriously think I am going crazy. I know they say if you know you're going crazy you really aren't, but there's a first time for everything.
I mean, after reading this don't you wonder just a little bit about my sanity?
I could attribute it to stress because God knows what other things it has done to my body, but I'm just not totally convinced.
Maybe there are just one too many radio waves screaming through my walls and somehow messing with my brain. All I know is, if I start to make sense of the noise and it turns into voices telling me to do stuff, don't say I didn't warn you.
2 comments:
ok this is getting weird
maybe you should see a shrink, just as a prophylactic? whether it is stress or craziness, it could help to have an objective person treat you?
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