FSD

I suspect we've all had it at one time or another.

I just received my new copy of Bitch Magazine and read it through, cover to cover, like a good feminist. The article about the Pharmaceutical companies actually researching ways in which to sell woman "pink viagra" by making them worry about potential sexual problems made me think twice about my own um...non-sexual history.

"Female sexual dysfunction is listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the official catalogue of mental illnesses), so if a woman is diagnosed with something that falls under the umbrella of FSD (say, lack of desire, lack of arousal, pain during intercourse, or lack of orgasm), she is automatically considered to have a mental disorder. A few generations ago, a woman might be considered mentally ill (more specifically, a nymphomaniac) if she wanted sex too much; these days a woman might just as easily be labeled mentally unsound if her libido is below "normal."
-"bad medicine Big Pharma's female trouble," Heather Hartley

I would definitely be interested in hearing what a psychologist had to say about me, but I highly doubt I would be diagnosed with a mental disorder, even if I did have a lack of desire, arousal and orgasm. At least...I hope. Yes of course your mental state affects your physical state, but it's just ridiculous to imagine you can reduce such widespread symptoms to a (gendered) mental disorder.

Wouldn't it be nice if it could be that cut and dry? I'm not having sex during what's supposed to be my prime because I have a mental disorder. I'll take some drugs and it'll all be better. According to their terms though, I don't really know if I have a lack of desire, etc. because there's no one asking me for sex at all, let alone when I'm not in the mood, to gauge the alleged normal libido. All I have to go on in that respect is self-love, so at least I do know that I can be aroused and have orgasms. Frequency would be the issue I guess.

And that is possibly yet another fear I have. Will I be expected to do it all the time? What if I'm not in the mood? A lot? I can go for weeks without a little howdyado, and I feel like though that's the norm for couples that have been together for a long time, not so much with the newer ones. He's either going to think I'm a tease or a tightass and won't stick around for long. Who wants to deal with that?

I never realized just how many ways I can justify removing myself from the entire dating/relationship process entirely based on sex. I don't want to get involved because I don't really know what to do. I don't want to get involved because it'll be expected of me and I hate expectations. I don't want to get involved because what if he wants to and I don't? Annoying. I wish I could shut off my brain. It's just useless projection and what does it matter anyway? Why can't I just let things take their course? I can do it with just about every other area of my life, to a degree anyway.

It's also really frustrating to hear that it isn't that big a deal and yet everything, everywhere has something to do with it. The act itself may not be, but remember how scared you were before you did it, or anything else that involves fear of the unknown? Ok, now multiply that by a hundred now that you're an adult and still haven't done it. No matter what the subject, it can be related back to sex. It's like the engine that runs the human race. I suppose that's actually a good metaphor in that sex keeps the population alive, but in mainstream culture, that's not the reason why it's done. We are a hedonistic bunch. I include myself in that because I want to be part of it, I'm just having a few issues getting there (perhaps due to my mentally unsound-ness.)

I shouldn't be surprised then to hear that Pharmaceuticals are trying to profit off the one thing that everyone, sans religious devotees, has in common. For once, it's even affecting men. Sex, sex, sex if you're not having it there must be something wrong with you. It's sexual terrorism. (Talk about dramatic!!) Next time you pop that viagra though, or whatever new drug they push on us for our sexual dysfunction, think about who you're actually helping.

Let's start making our own rules:
1. Pharmaceutical Companies do not have a say in what is and what is not normal human behavior.