All that optimism from a few days ago?
Half it.
That's about where I am today.
Due to insurance issues I had to take a break from therapy. A few days ago was my first time back in about a month. I was all ready to walk in there and talk about how good I felt and maybe end therapy while continuing the medication until summer. Instead she made me realize that just because I felt better in one respect doesn't mean I had it all figured out. I sort of knew that, but I thought I was more on the way to being able to handle it.
Guess not.
Tears yet again for reasons I could not place, aside from disappointment and the realization that I'm still putting myself under so much pressure one unexpected thing happens and I break.
Sigh.
5 comments:
Aww Vee, don't spend yourself worrying about it. Just remember that it's a process. All your issues can't disappear because you want them to otherwise they would have gone long ago.
Just have faith in the fact that you've made progress and that all of this will help you handle it one day. And that day doesn't have to be today.
Dear Queen vee, you will get through this, have faith!
thanks g/w. i'm of the impatient sort when it comes to certain things, making myself feel better being one of them, so it's just frustrating. i want the process to go faster! it's odd to stand out myself and wag my finger...at myself...telling myself to hurry up. very surreal. :) but thank you so much for the well wishes. you must know i hold the same for you. the disappointment in where you've ended up eventually passes. at least it did for me when i struggled with it. it's the where you're going that becomes the issue. that's what i'm struggling with now. see what you have to look forward to? ;)
thanks anon. i mostly have faith. i sometimes let myself sulk to try to get it out of my system. :)
I just read your phase 5 blog post and I think I can identify with a lot of those feelings. Lately I've been feeling like I have no direction in life, like I don't know where to go or where I'm supposed to end up. By my age of 21 (almost 22) I should've done a lot of things, but most of them I haven't. Of course, I never had youthful optimism about the future. I just kind of went along with things and see where they would end up. I can tell that's kind of a problem as I should've gone after things, but in all honesty, I'm not really sure what I could have gone after that would have held my interest long enough.
Anyway, know you're not alone in how you feel and that we all have issues and insecurities we need to deal with. I know therapy would probably be good for me, but at this time there's no way I can afford it. The best we can do is work with what we have :).
this too shall pass...
Sometimes when we make progress we take a huge step back. But you'll catch up, and you'll keep going.
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