Then the other day while climbing the stairs to my apartment, I passed a guy standing in the doorway to apartment C which I thought was still empty. Guys (and girls too) please help me interpret the following paraphrased but pretty accurate conversation. At the moment I am trying not to read into it being anything more than just a friendly invitation, (I mean it's not like he wasn't speaking plain English) but it seems kind of early for such a thing. We did just meet after all, albeit twice.
QV: hi! did you just move in? (i peeked in at this point which i regretted as terrible etiquette directly after the conversation was over.)
Red: hi. oh...i moved in about 2 weeks ago? i haven't been around much on the weekends though.
QV: my name's QV, i live in F. (i put out my hand)
Red: i'm red. (he shook it) the place is a mess still- (he waved his hand inside)
QV: ha! don't worry about it. i moved in in december and i still need a couch.
It suddenly hit me that I had met a 'Red' on the stoop a few weeks ago, but his hair was not even close to reddish. It's dark brown. Weird.
QV: did we meet before? outside?
Red: (he chuckled) yeah-
QV: omg! i'm sorry! you look so different!
Red: well i got my hair cut and shaved the beard so-
QV: oh! ha. (i should have said that it looked good, because it did, but i didn't because i didn't think to- i was embarrassed i didn't recognize him) well...i guess i'll see you around!
Red: yeah! hey if you ever want to stop by and hang out just knock on my door.
QV: oh yeah! same! just come up! (what? what am i saying?)
Red: ok, see you around!
QV: bye!
So...is he interested? or just friendly? or both? I mean, I probably come off as pretty friendly myself in this scenario, which after all my harping on being anti-social would seem out of character but it's not really. I do like meeting new people, just not at parties or bars or really in numbers bigger than one. Anyway, I did mean it when I returned the invite at the moment, and it's not that I want to take it back now, it's more like whichever one of us knocks on the other's door to hang out is kind of picking up the ball so to speak. And thus begins the awkwardness! And YES while I wrote that I know how ridiculous it is, I'm getting so far ahead of myself I might as well be time traveling, but I can't help thinking it. I wouldn't be me if I didn't. I can't quite remember exactly what he looks like because my first image of him was clearly wrong and the second one was marred by embarrassment from the first- but I do know I wasn't unattracted. Which for me is pretty big.
Oh boy.
11 comments:
Guy perspective here: From such a harmless conversation it's hard to say if he's interested or if he was just being polite. But he at least liked you enough to ask you to come hang out. So it seems he's open to the possibility.
I say, make some cookies or bake a cake, bring a bottle of wine or whatever, knock on his door with a big smile and say "I'm the welcome committee!" and that you just want to hang out and chat over a glass of wine.
I'm an introvert and definitely prefer these kinds of one-on-one interactions with the other sex. Don't think. Just go for it. What's the worst that could happen? You chat with the guy for an hour or two and find out that either you or he is not interested...or maybe you actually both start liking each other.
I'm wholly unqualified to interpret the male species, but I think anonymous might be onto something.
I don't think you should read too much into it other than, if you were to go over, it'd be okay because he gave you the green light to -- whether it was romantic attraction or just friendliness, who knows? That's something you'd only be able to suss out after you've spent more time with him.
But what's the worst that could happen? You either make a friend or maybe something more will happen.
i'm much more reserved and pessimistic, so i would interpret it as he's just being friendly and i don't know if i'd be ballsy enough to pop in with cookies...BUT, that being said, i would definitely keep saying hi every time i saw him and try to elongate the conversations each time and build it up that way and like ecrivain said, maybe you guys will become friends or more than that, or if just friends, maybe he has friends to introduce you to. in any case, it's nice to have potential around :o)
I thought if he was just being friendly he would have said "see you around" as opposed to the invitation. It may not contain any romantic subtext, but it sure as diddly won't hurt to find out!
Go for it! I think it's possible he's interested, not that I'm an expert who can tell.
QV,
Listen and listen good. I'm a guy here and I can say on behalf of all of us, we are simple, straight forward creatures. We are like a children's book...very easy to read. If you got any sort of a vibe from him chances are quite high your hunch is correct.
No guy is going to give you the green light to come to his place unless he likes you in some way. This is not just to be polite.
There's no way in hell I'm giving the green light to a girl I have no interest in to come to my place. I have better things to do with my time....like trying to invite girls I want to be with to my place.
It's very good that you offered him to call on you as well but does he know your room number? If he's a real man and truly interested he will come call on you (assuming you gave him your room number) but he might be shy so don't take it the wrong way if he doesn't.
If you decide to go to his place don't come with the cookies or wine like the other guy said...that's too much for a first encounter.
good luck!
it's too early to tell if he's interested or just friendly. but at the least, he's friendly. i say go knock on his door and continue being friendly (but also not like you're not AT ALL interested if that makes any sense). see how it goes from there.
thanks for all your advice everyone! i'm trying not to over think anything and will just keep being friendly. i think i might knock on his door to see if he'd like to check out a bar in the neighborhood- that way less pressure. i think...anyways, time will tell! :)
Ohh booooy!
One thing I've learnt in the past couple of years from observation: girls who think every guy is attracted to them, act as if they are the best thing to happen to whoever comes their way, and eventually, they put themselves in the guy's way so outrightly, that the guy will end up liking them, even if he wasn't that attracted at first.
(not that I've ever been able to master this skill myself, but I'm trying my best!)
In the worst of cases, if you give it a try and things go awkward or even horribly wrong, think of this: could you bear running into him every now and then in the hallway?
You can always just take him up on his offer and see where it goes. If he's not attracted to you in *that* way, then at least you've made a new friend, and you'll leave the good impression of being a friendly neighbour.
that's a perfect idea QV. Go 4 it!
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