Dear random a**hole on the street:
When I stepped onto that curb and looked behind me in utter shock, it wasn't because I saw a 'brown man' and was scared of the stereotypes that surround your ethnicity. When I stepped onto that curb, there was no one around so when I felt something hit the back of my heel I thought a grocery had fallen out of one of the 10lb bags I was carrying. When I turned and was suddenly head to chest with your stupid a**, it completely surprised me. I was expecting a nectarine and instead was faced with you. The moment after that of course I was scared of you, you ignorant f*ck, you stood a head taller than me and were walking close enough to step on me. Why wouldn't I suspect you of something? There was NO ONE ELSE on the goddam sidewalk, why did you have to be so close?
Then you went into some kind of rant, throwing your hands up and looking back at me like I had done something wrong. You assumed I was scared of you because of your race. F**k you, you d*ck. I could play the race card too, 'cuz if you hadn't noticed, which you didn't due to your pointedly defensive reaction, I am a minority too. I could say you targeted me because the cops wouldn't care all that much if something happened to a brown girl like little old me. But I'd never do that because I'm not an a**hole.
I won't apologize for being female and worrying that a large male walking very close to me when no one else is around might do something to me. Have you been living under a f**king rock? According to the US Department of Justice, in America a woman is raped every 2 minutes so how dare you try to make me feel bad for fearing for my safety around you because of your own dumb a** insecurities about being a minority. I would have reacted THE SAME GODDAM WAY to a strange man of any race who was way too close to me for no reason.
Read the news. Learn about personal space. Walk in a woman's shoes for a day. Get a f**king clue, and while you're at it, get over yourself. Women don't look at you like that because you're a minority, they look at you like that because you're an a**hole.
Sincerely,
QV
...And now back to our regularly scheduled whine...
Friday, October 10, 2008
Sunday, October 05, 2008
Too Many Teardrops...
I cried in my sleep one night a few weeks ago. I dreamed it was the end of the world, happening both right at that moment as well about to happen. It is so strange how contradicting events can occur simultaneously in dreams isn't it?
In one scenario, the earth was literally cracking and opening with me on one side and my parents on the other, and in the other scenario, I somehow just knew the world was about to end and my parents were so far away I wouldn't get to see them before it did. I'm not sure if there were people around me screaming, or if it was because I had two events that couldn't possibly happen at the same time happening at once, but it was extremely loud and chaotic. The type of loud that becomes muffled because your ears can't handle it. I was crying so hard it turned into silent heaving sobs, where my chest actually ached and I could hardly breathe. There was no fear of death, but instead an overwhelming sense of loss...I guess the kind that can make a person cry that hard, unconsciously in their sleep. I woke up without opening my eyes and felt the tears streaming down my face.
Who does this?
The most obvious interpretation is that I am having separation anxiety from my parents despite being away from them for 7 years now, or simply that I miss them and am worried about them as they are getting older. I only get to see them twice or so a year so that's understandable, but the armageddon part? Do I have to be such a drama queen even in my sleep? Give it a rest sister, it's no wonder you're so exhausted.
But I looked up a couple different dream sites to see what the running theme among them was, and they all said it was an emotional release. No duh. That's what crying when you're awake means too. But one online dictionary continued on to say it was a way to regain an emotional balance due to the suppression of feelings you don't want to deal with during the day. In a dream state there are no defenses to stop them from making a full-fledged appearance.
Who knew defenseless could be a good thing?
In one scenario, the earth was literally cracking and opening with me on one side and my parents on the other, and in the other scenario, I somehow just knew the world was about to end and my parents were so far away I wouldn't get to see them before it did. I'm not sure if there were people around me screaming, or if it was because I had two events that couldn't possibly happen at the same time happening at once, but it was extremely loud and chaotic. The type of loud that becomes muffled because your ears can't handle it. I was crying so hard it turned into silent heaving sobs, where my chest actually ached and I could hardly breathe. There was no fear of death, but instead an overwhelming sense of loss...I guess the kind that can make a person cry that hard, unconsciously in their sleep. I woke up without opening my eyes and felt the tears streaming down my face.
Who does this?
The most obvious interpretation is that I am having separation anxiety from my parents despite being away from them for 7 years now, or simply that I miss them and am worried about them as they are getting older. I only get to see them twice or so a year so that's understandable, but the armageddon part? Do I have to be such a drama queen even in my sleep? Give it a rest sister, it's no wonder you're so exhausted.
But I looked up a couple different dream sites to see what the running theme among them was, and they all said it was an emotional release. No duh. That's what crying when you're awake means too. But one online dictionary continued on to say it was a way to regain an emotional balance due to the suppression of feelings you don't want to deal with during the day. In a dream state there are no defenses to stop them from making a full-fledged appearance.
Who knew defenseless could be a good thing?
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