So...the the young one contacted me (read: texted) again....weeks later. He asked me to a movie, one of my favorite things to do, but I was sick (among other things) so I did what I do worst. I lied. I supposed I could have just said I was sick, since that was the truth, but instead I said I had to work late. Technically it wasn't a lie because when I got home I actually did do more work, but this is beside the point. The point is, I didn't want to go. And thus begins the ride into confusion.
I suppose I should first admit that I guess I have expectations (but God forbid he have any of me) and I don't mean like he should pay or call me within 3 days. More like, when I gave him my number I kinda wanted him to call and ask me out. I really was of the mind that I would go out with him at the time. If he had asked called me that weekend at a reasonable hour, I would have gone. A month later? I've lost interest.
Or perhaps it's more general that that. I realize I've lost the mood.
Lost The Mood.
What the hell?
Honestly speaking I don't really want to go out on a date with anyone right now, unspecific to him really. And it completely annoys me that I can sit here, admit that and then still say that I'd like to be with someone. You see, I may be an anomaly, but I think there are other women out there who can't explain their actions any more than you can stop yourself from being hurt by them. It's not a justification or excuse for this behavior, it just...I don't know. When I figure it out I'll let you know.
1 comment:
Grrr. You frustrate me. I really think you are just scared.
I understand where you are coming from about losing interest after not hearing from him for weeks. I get that.
Why dont you go out with him for some practice? You like movies right? Go with him to one. Then afterwards, get coffee or dessert and talk to him. Act interested, maybe even flirt a little. If you practice, it will take the edge off a little when you meet someone you actually do like.
I have friend like you. She acts like she doesnt want to date and makes up excuses and says shes not normal. I know that deep down she really does want to date. She just makes up excuses because she is scared and self conscious. I wish I had the balls to yell at her like I am doing here.
Good luck.
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